counselling group.

IRENE is holding a counselling group for the victims of terrible jokes.

IRENE: So, who'd like to go first?
ENGLISHMAN: I would Irene. I mean, me and my friends have found it ridiculously difficult to live anymore.
SCOTSMAN: It's true, we can't go anywhere anymore. Even finding work is difficult. We just get laughed at.
IRISHMAN: I agree completely. I'm not even fully Irish, my mother was from Australia.
SCOTSMAN: I trained as a neurologist for many years, but people just don't take me seriously...
IRENE: Have you ever thought about seperating?
ENGLISHMAN: Many times, but it just doesn't work.
IRISHMAN: Yeah, I mean, how're we supposed to work as a band?
IRENE: So you're in a band together?
ENGLISHMAN: Yes we are.
IRENE: I see, but that's beyond the point. What sort of things do people say?
SCOTSMAN: All sorts of things.
IRISHMAN: Yeah, I mean, there's a whole load of fake rumours about us.
ENGLISHMAN: I heard one the other day about us finding some sort of magic lamp and getting three wishes. It was ridiculous, I mean, if we did get three wishes, I'm sure we'd come to some sort of agreement, we wouldn't waste them.
IRENE: I see, well we have another member with us. Tell us about yourself.
YO MOMMA: Well, call me foolish, but there's been a great deal of insults directed towards me, but my poor children have to suffer. They're the ones that get told these false accusations, I bet they wouldn't have the nerve to confront me face to face!
IRENE: Who's they?
YO MOMMA: Well, everyone! And I'm fed up of it! I'm recently going through a divorce, and it's been very difficult on me and my children, and the last thing I need is people going around saying "oh, yo momma is so fat" and whatnot. I know I have a weight issue, but I'm dealing with it, I've recently started that Atkins Diet.
IRENE: Has it helped?
YO MOMMA: Not really, I haven't lost any weight and my feet are turning green.

a bit of culture.

MIKE, a young stand-up, is halfway through a set.

MIKE: I was in a bar the other day, and funnily enough, an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked in. I was amazed! I went up to them and said "is this some kind of joke?"

There is no reaction from the audience. A man in the audience boos.

MIKE: Was that a boo? What made you boo sir?
MAN: You're shit!
MIKE: I'm sorry you feel that way, fortunately for me though, so is your face.
MAN: Is that the best you can come up with?
MIKE: Oh I can do much better, I just don't want to hurt your little brain.
MAN: Really? Well I shagged your mother!
MIKE: You had to go and ruin it, didn't you Dad?

The audience is disgusted. MIKE walks off. His family doesn't hold talent contests anymore.